The Scientist

One of my favorite things about music is when I hear a song and I have a memory connected with it.  Sometimes these memories are happy and uplifting, while other times I remember a time when I felt pain and sorrow.  Regardless, I love these connections.  Remembering pain may not seem like a fun thing to do, but it often leaves me feeling appreciative and positive.

I am not a huge Coldplay fan, but I have always really liked the song, The Scientist.  The melody is very pretty and it is a very "real" love song to me.  When I was preparing for my first childbirth experience, I put together a playlist of songs that were meant to help me relax and remember how to breathe and I included this song.  I'm not going to go into my whole labor story at this time, but just share a snippet.

When I was told I could stay at the hospital, my labor was progressing slowly and I felt very calm, not much pain, just trying to stay relaxed and wrap my head around the fact that I was actually in labor.  At one point when I was checked I was told I was dilated to a 4.  I was feeling good and thinking about how I had several hours before anything exciting would happen.  Shortly after, it hit.  I was basically having constant contractions and could not breathe and relax the way I was wanting to.  I thought to myself, "If this is what a 4 feels like, there is no way I am going to make it."

It hurt.

A lot.

It is hard to remember all the details of what was going on because everything was happening so quickly.  But the one thing I distinctly remember was hearing these words from The Scientist playing from my iPod.  

Nobody said it was easy
Nobody said it would be this hard

I can't say it gave me the strength I needed, but I felt comforted.

Fast forward to my first day at home with my beautiful baby.  I was sitting on the couch with my baby girl laying on my chest.  This time, I was again trying to relax, wrap my head around that fact that I was actually a mom, and feeling a bit overwhelmed.  The Scientist came on once again. It was the first time I had remembered that I heard the song while in labor and I broke down crying.

I realize that having a song remind you of childbirth is not something you would think you would want.  Childbirth was not easy.  Being a new mom was not easy (it still isn't). But I have a perfectly sweet little baby girl and I'm glad I have a way to remember these tender moments.